1 /5 Megan M: To whoever was working the kitchen that evening: I hope you remember this order, because there is no way this was an accident.
I ordered the steak salad, and if I had to imagine what rotten roadkill tastes like, this would be it. That “steak” was not steak. It had the texture of a dissolved tablet that’s been sitting on the tip of your tongue for five minutes before you finally swallow it. It looked boiled, reheated, and emotionally neglected, gray on the outside, disturbingly pink in the middle, leaking juices like it was actively surrendering. The fat wasn’t rendered, seasoned, or cooked properly; it was just… there, clinging on like it didn’t know what it was supposed to be. I didn’t even know it was physically possible to ruin steak at this level, yet here we are.
And then there’s the “salad.” Calling this a salad is straight-up false advertising. You didn’t chop it. You didn’t mix it. You didn’t even pretend. You dropped two massive, unchewed iceberg lettuce boulders into a plastic container core and all, like a lettuce autopsy. This isn’t a salad; it’s raw produce evidence. The onions and tomatoes look like they were sprinkled on by accident, as if someone walked past the container holding them and tripped.
The tiny container of bland, mediocre dressing couldn’t even coat one of those massive lettuce slabs, which honestly feels intentional at this point. You didn’t give up halfway through, you never started.
I ordered late at night through Uber Eats hoping for a healthy, balanced meal. Instead, I received what a cat would proudly drag to your door after hunting in the woods for two days. This looks less like dinner and more like something shown during a food safety training video. I’ve seen gas station salads with more effort, structure, and self-respect than this.
If you wouldn’t eat this yourself, why would you send it to someone else? This wasn’t dinner, it was a death row meal where the food itself was the execution.
I’ve attached a photo so no one thinks I’m exaggerating. Unfortunately, the picture is actually kinder than the experience.
