5 /5 Karin van der Valk: I’m trying to process this as I said every day how thankful I was to still have Ellie. We knew she was living on borrowed time. Last night we thought her breathing spell would end. More and more medication had no effect. We let our rationality be compromised by emotion. Three hours, and her heart couldn’t take it. She was struggling to breathe. She kissed me on the mouth and eyes as she always did during an episode. At the ER she was in an oxygen chamber for approximately 30 minutes and given heart medication. The vet said she might not make it through the night. I hope she forgives me for being selfish before putting her needs first. Dad and I kept thinking she would improve. The vet brought her in to us in a blanket for us to say goodbye. He then administered the medication as I held her little soul slipping away from me. I felt like part of me was slipping away with her. I miss my endless shadow. The house seems empty. She was with me from morning to night. I’m on my pillow she slept on. She would sleep with her head against my cheek. I would hear her heartbeat and breath on my face. Sometimes in the middle of the night, she would kiss me and then reposition herself next to me. She looked at me during her spell and as she always did, she kissed my mouth and eyes. I’ve lost so many fur babies but she was unlike any other. I knew she needed me but I needed her more. She was unconditional love and support. I have a hole in my heart. I pray with time I can fill it with all our beautiful shared times.
The doctor and assistants were deeply caring. They surprised us with a beautiful card and clay paw imprint. They were compassionate and said to take as much time with her. She went peacefully in their blanket as I held her. Thank you so much ❤️